Saturday, 16 July 2011

tution e choda chudi.

School-er pore, shoptahe du din aami jetam Geography-r tuition nite. Ei ghotonata amaar class seven-e porar shomoykar. July 1990-r kotha. Aami portam Kolkatar ek naam kora English medium school-e. Shedin school kore aami jothariti gechhi porte. Schooler-i teacher, to onar shonge-i jetaam aami onar baarite, je hetu amaar baari school theke besh khanikta durey ekta mofoshwol elakay.

Jai hok, ebaar ashol ghotonay asha jaak. Shadharonoto, amader tuition shuru hoto 3:30 theke. To amake praay der ghonta boshe thaakto hoto amaar teacher-er bari te. Shedin-o aami boshe chhilam onar boshar ghorey opekkha korchhilam onar fresh hoye ashar. Hothat shuni bhetor theke uni amake daakchhen, “Shibaji, Shibaji, ekbaar shono.”

To aami gelam bhetore dekhte ki byapar, kintu onake kothao dekhte na peye aami fire aaschhilam abaar boshar ghorey, hothat kore dekhi bathroom-er dorjata shamanyo faak kore uni mukh-ta khali baariye amake bolchhen, “Ektu oporer drawer-ta khule amake shaban-ta debe? Kheyal chhilo na je ekhonkar-ta shesh hoye gechhe.”

To aami drawer khule shaban-ta hate niye guti guti paaye bathroom-er dorjar shaamne giye toka marte-i uni dorja ta khule dilen ekdom haat kore. Dekhi gaaye shudhu ekta towel joriye daariye aachhen. She-I amaar prothom oto kaachh theke ordho – ulongo naari dekha. Bujhte-i paarchhen shob ki obostha amaar. Dhon babaji to emon terefure uthe daralo, je taake pant-er modhye shaamle rakha daay hoye porlo.

Oh! Ei faanke aami amaar Geography-r teacher-er bornonata ektu diye di. Dudhey altay gaayer rong, satin-er moto moshreen gaayer chamra (sheta-r shotto-ta pore jachai korechhilam, tokhono obdhi dekhe ontoto tai mone hoto), norom tultule shara shorir, aar pachha khana thik jeno duto Geography-r globe-ke kete ulto kore boshiye dewa hoyechhe. Kotobar je class-e boshe khichechhi oi shorir-er kotha bhebe tar yotta nei.

She heno mohila shudhu matro ekta towel, jeta ekta taanei khule jaabe, joriye amaar shaamne daariye …….. uffffffff she ki drishyo !!!!!!!!! Shaban-ta dite giye dekhi thor thor kore kaapchhe haat. Sheta dekhe maagi-r she ki haashi, thaamte-I chaay na. amake jiggesh korlo, “Konodin nyangto meye dekho ni?” Aami bollam, “Nah! Shei shoubhagyo ekhono hoy ni amaar.” Sheta shune Indrani (maagi-r naam) bollo, “Aajke mone hochchhe tomar bhagyo tomar shonge aachhe.” Ei bole she ek taane taar towel khule tar shomosto etodiner dheke rakha shompotti amaar chokher shaamne mele dhorlo.

Aamar haat pa kaapchhe thor thor kore, bujhte paarchhi na ki korbo, tobe eta besh bujhta paarchhilam je jai kori na keno, chokh bondho kora jaabe na; chokh boncho korle khanikkhoner jonye hole-o shei noyonabhiram drishyo theke bonchito korte hobe nijeke. Er modhye kokhon je Indrani ek taane amake bathroom-er bhetor dhukiye niyechhe bujhte-I paari ni, emon-i ghorey-r modhye chhilam. Bathroom-er bhetor dhukiye niye amaar jama pant khulte arombho korechhe ek ek kore. Prothome amaar t-shirt ta gelo, tarpor sando genji, tarpor pant ta. Ekhon amaar poridhaane ekmaatro amaar jaangiyata. Sheta khulte jete-I aami ektu shore gelaam. Tokhon Indrani bollo, “Eta ki thik hochchhe, je aami ekkebaare ulongo hoye daariye thaakbo aar tumi jaangiye pore thaakbe? Kholo tomaar jaangiya noile kintu aami jol diye bhijiye debo, tokhon dekhbe moja. Shudhu pant pore baari jete hobe.” Er por ki karur kichhu bolar thaakte paare? Na, ebong amaar-o chhilo na. Oto-eb, ochire-i amaar poroner shomosto bostro amaar ongo tyag kore Indrani-r bichhanay sthaan grohon korlo.

Tarpor Indrani amake du haate joriye dhore nijer bukey tene niye khub aador korte thaaklo aar mukh diye “mmmmmmm, aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, issssssssshhhhhh” eirokom shob awaj ber korte thaaklo. Shei amaar prothom naarir chhowa, bujhtei paarchhen ki obostha. Khichte shikhechhi totodin-e, kintu amraa shokole-i jaani je naari-r chhowa pawa aar nijer haater shhowa pawar modhye ki parthokyo. Dhon babaji to maal felaar jonye udgreeb hoye nachanachi korchhe. Ei dhoner nachanachi dekhe Indrani amaar shaamne haatu gere boshe amaar dhonta taar haat diye dhore bhaalo kore dekhte laaglo. Bolte lojja nei, kintu boyesh onupaate amaar dhonta ektu beshi boro-i chhilo, ei 5” moto hobe. Sheta dekhe Indrani bollo, “Ufffffffffff, ei boyesh-ei eirom ekta dhon baaniyechho; boyesh baarle ki korbe, koto boro korbe etake? Babba! Etto boro dhon ei boyeshe konodin dekhi ni.” Ei bole-i she amaar dhonta nijer mukhe purey chok chok kore chushte shuru korlo. She ki chosha, mone hochchhilo jeno amaar praanta chushe ber kore nebe. Bhabchhilam ei araam jeno shara jibon dhore chole, ekbaarer jonye-o jeno dhonta or mukh theke ber na korte hoy, kintu tar ki upaay chhilo? Eke to prothom naari shukh upobhog korchhi, tar opore abaar shei praan ber kore newa chosha. Du minute-er modhye aami Indrani-r mukhey amaar gorom thok thokey fyada dhele dilaam aar obaak hoye dekhi she khaanki maagi dibbi dhok dhok kore giley kheye fello amaar gorom maal.

Maal beriye jawar por Indrani amake bollo, “Tumi to tomaar maal ber kore dibbi anondo pele, ebaar amaar ki hobe? Amaar guder jol ke khoshabe?” Aami bollam je bolo ki korte hobe, aami cheshta korbo tomaar-o araam kore dite. Byas, shudhu bolar opekkha, shonge shonge Indrani amake tar shaamne haatu gere boshiye paa duto faak kore bollo, “Amaar gudta chaato, gud chete chete amaar rosh ber kore daao.” Aami jibh ber kore or porishkar kamano guder opor jibhta bolate laglaam aaste aaste. Taate o bole uthlo, “Na, orom bhaabe na. Du haat diye amaar guder paari duto faak kore dhoro. Hyan, ebaar dekho ekta chhotto botam-er moto jinish dekhte paabe, otar opor aaste aaste jibh bolao.” Jei aami or guder koter (tokhon jantam na ota-ke kot/clit bole)opor jibh buliyechhi, o “ISSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH, MORE GELAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM, UFFFFFFFFFFFF HYAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN BHALO KORE CHAATOOOOOOOOOOO” ei shob bole chechate laaglo aar amaar mathata ek haat diye aaro jore or guder opor chepe dhorte laaglo aar aarek haat diye nijey mai duto moydar dela makhar moto kore kochlate laaglo. Eirokom khanikhon cholar por hothat Indrani “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH magooooooooo, amaar rosh beruchchheeeeeeeeeeee. Hyan, Shibaji, tomar khanki teacher-er guder dhomodto rosh chete kheye felo, uffffffffffffffff, ki aaraam” bole chechate laaglo aar aami onubhob korlam je or huder bhetor theke amaar jibh-er opor besh jhajhalo aar paanshe marka torol kichhu eshe porte thaaklo. Prothom-ta ektu ghenna korle-o porer dike dekhlam besh bhalo-i laagchhilo shaadta, tai jibhta jotota bhetore dhokano shombhob dhukiye chete chete or guder rosh khete thaklaam. Erpor dujonei bhalo kore ekshaathe snaan kore beriye oder khaate-r opor shulam aar shuye shuye Indrani-r mena duto chushte chushte kokhon je ghumiye porechhilam, tar kheyal chhilo na.

Khanikkhon por ghum jokhon bhanglo, dekhi nishshaash nite paarchhi na, dom bondho hoye jachchhe. Ki hochchhilo kichhui bujhte paarchhilam na. Onek koshte chokh khule dekhi Khanki Indrani chok chok kore amaar dhonta chushe cholechhe aar tar porishkar kamano gudta amaar mukher opor chepe dhorechhe. Ekhon, jehetu aami khub bhalo chhele, gurujonder kothar omanyo kori na, shehetu aami tar ei onurodh-tai ba feli ki kore? Tai shonge shonge aami tar makhoner moto guder opor jibh ta khanikkhon bhalo kore buliye nilam. Tarpor chushte shuru korlam tar fule fepe otha kot ta. Joto jore aami tar kot chushi, toto jore she-o amaar dhon choshe aar mukh diye “aaaaaaaah mmmmmmmm ufffffffffff” erom shob awaj kore.

Erom kichhukkhon cholar por bujhlam je maagi prochonddo gorom kheyechhe, aar ebaar chudte chaibe. Tokhon aami amaar dan haater duto angul or guder modhye dhukiye diye jore jore narate laglaam. Maagir gud etto bhije chhilo je amaar mukher opor or gud theke rosh jhore porchhilo. Ebaar amaar angul duto or gud theke ber kore aaste aaste or poder futo-r modhye dhokanor cheshta korlam. Shonge shonge o bole uthlo, “Ore saala harami, tui to dekhchhi paka khelowar. Er aage kota-ke kheyechhish re? Uffffffffff, erom korle aami je aaj-i tor shonge paliye jaabo amaar shaami shongshaar chhere. Etto araam aami raakhbo kothay?” Ei bole, she amaar pa duto uchu kore amaar poder futo-ta jibh diye chaatte laaglo aar majhe majhe bhetore dhukiye dite laaglo tar jibh-ta. OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH !!!! she ki araam, ta bole bojhate paarbo na. Aami tar matha-ta dhore chepe dhorlam tar mukhta amaar poder futo-r opore aar she-o tar jibhta shoru kore niye dhukiye dite laaglo amaar poder futoy. Eibhabe khanikkhon cholar por amra dujone0i kemon paagol hoye uthlam chodachudi korar jonye. Indrani khaater opor cheet hoye shuye pa duto faak kore diye amake bollo, “Ne ei khaanki maagita-ke thaap de, fatiye de amaar gud-ta. Aar paarchhi na; amaar ekhon dhon chaai. Ne na saala harami, taratari dhoka na tor leoda ta amaar guder modhye.” Ei bole maagi amaar dhonta dhore amake tene tar gaayer opor fele dhon-ta nije-i tar guder mukhe thekiye amake bollo, “Ne, ebaar dhukiye de, shaamner dike thele de tor dhonta.” Aami or kotha moto jei shaamner dike pachhata naariyechhi, omni amaar dhon-ta pochat kore dhuke gelo maagi-r guder modhye. Shei amaar prothom guder shaad pawa, aar jara aaj obdhi guder shaad peyechhe, taadr nischoi bole bojhate hobe na ki onubhuti prothom gud marar. Aar jara ekhono paay ni, taader uddeshye amaar ekta-i boktobyo --- TARATARI GUD-ER SHAAD NAAO – tomra ki miss korchho, sheta bole bojhano jaabe na. jaak ge, amaar kothay aashi. Prothombar gude dhon dhokano-r onubhuti ---- mone hochchhilo jeno ektaal gorom makhon-er modhye amaar dhon-ta dhukiye diyechhi.

Dhon dhukiye aami shukh onubhob korchhi kichchhu na kore. To khanki-ta odhoirjo hoye bole uthlo, “Ei gud chudi, dhyan korchhish naki amaar guder bhetor leoda pure? Thaap de na re baal. Amaar je gud aar shoite paarchhe na e kutkutani. Thaap diye tar kutkutani komiye de.”
Aami jiggesh korlam, “Thaap dewa maane?”
Indrani bollo, “Tor pachha-ta aagu pichhu kor, taake-i thaap dewa bole. De, thaap de, tor-o araam hobe.”
Aami or kotha moto pachhata aagu pichhu korte laglaam aar dekhlam, shotti khub araam hochchhilo. Nije nije dhona khecha aar kono maagi-r gude thaap marar modhye akash patal parthokyo. Aami-o komor uthiye uthiye jore jore thaap maarte laglaam maagi-r gudey aar maagi chitkaar kore uthte laaglo protyek-rta thaaper shonge shonge.

“Oh! Hyan, maar maar tor khaanki teacher-er gud maar. OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH ki araam dichchhish re khanki-r chhele. Erom araam amaar bor konodin dite paare ni.”

“Hyan, aami tomar gud mere faatiye debo aajke. Rokto ber kore chharbo, amaar dhoner maal khawabo tomake abaar.”

"De de, amaar gud mere, faatiye, roktarokti kore de. Tarpor aami tor dhoner maal khaabo abaar"

“Ufffffff, ma gooooooooooooo. Ki araam khachchhe go tomar khaanki meye-ta. Ei jonye-i to aami school-e porate jaai. Kochi kochi chhele ene jaate chodate paari. Ufffffff, amaar guder jol khoshiye debo aami khub shiggiri. Thapate thaak amake, thapate thaak.”

Aami aaro jore jore thaap dite dite bolte laglaam, “Oh! Maagi, tomar etto heat aami jantaam na. jaanle kobe-I tomaar gud mere ditaam, tomake amaar dhoner rosh khawatam. Daao daao, tomaar guder jol chhere daao amaar dhoner opor.”

Ei kotha shonar por Indrani tar duto bota amaar mukher modhye theshe dhore bollo, “Ne ne, khaa, amaar doodh duto khaa; bota duto jore kaamre dhor, aami tor leoda-r opor amaar guder rosh chharte jachchhi.”

Aami-o taar mai-er bota duto mukhe niye jore jore kaamre dhorte laglaam, aar jei kaamre dhorechhi, khaanki-ta “AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!, ISSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH” korte korte amaar dhoner opor tar guder rosh chhere dilo. Shei shomoy mone hochchhilo jeno keu sharashi diye chepe dhorechhe amaar dhon, etto jore jore or gud amaar dhonta chepe chepe dhorchhilo. Guder rosh ber kore-o dekhi khanki-r aash mete ni, she tokhon hamagudi diye khaater opor boshe bollo, “Aay, amake kukur choda kor. Kukurer moto kore chod amake pechhon theke.”

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